Well... I lost my Phone, Lost my Job, and now I have lost all perspective on my goals in life. I am just kind of lost in my own undoing. I was told that I didn't give enough heart into what I was doing. Well then, give me something that I love, and I will give everything I have. Give me something I don't thoroughly enjoy and will give a lackluster attempt. Is it even possible to give 100 percent to everything you do? Maybe for some, but if the love for something isn’t' there, neither is the heart. These would be considered the same in most cases, but in my situation they are in different rooms. With conjoining doors, that can only be opened with the right set of keys. These keys seem to have been missing for quite a while...
I think today will be set aside for re-examining what I want to do in life. Trying to figure out where I want to be in 6 months, or 1 year, or even 5-10 years from now. What Do I want to be? That’s got to be the hardest question to answer. I thought I had it figured, but I am not sure if I want something that can look really good on a resume or something that can look really good to me. Do I want to waste 4 years, Or will it be in my best interest to go through with it. I don't want to come out of school, and not wanting to continue on with a job that I just trained for. I have already done that once, that that was enough for me. I am starting to become interested in other ideas, but time is dwindling down and I have to make a decision soon.
Let the rest of the today bring something good, and maybe some Dumplings
Does everyone out there have that special person? I sure hope so... But if they don't I sure hope they know who they want it to be. I send out a plea to everyone out there to not hold back on what your feeling. You only have one chance at life to get things right, or attempt to make them right. After that one chance it could be a long time before another one arrives, and regrets are not a thing worth living though. Even if that person may not feel the same way, their is no way of knowing if you don't take the risk and put yourself out there. If anything, your gesture could put a smile that someone’s face knowing that someone feels that way about them. It could hurt at first if the feelings are not mutual, but at least you would know the truth, Which will end up easing the pain in the end.
1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you. 2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. 3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you. 4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you. 5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep. 6. You mean the world to someone. 7. If not for you, someone may not be living. 8. You are special and unique. 9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you. 10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. 11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world. 12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it. 13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks. 14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.
There’s a couple in there I hope are true to there fullest potential. And there are some I know are very true. But That’s all for now..
Wednesdays... there better then Tuesdays, but not as good as Thursdays. And there way better then Mondays. Its too bad that every day couldn't be the best day. Maybe sometime in the future everything will eventually fall into place, in such a perfect way that every day could be the best day. Even if something awful were to happen, or there was a bad day, it wouldn't even matter. To get to this day will take some time, and some careful steps, and a bit of Luck to assure it happens. And most importantly, it will need someone, or maybe a few to help me get there. Even if they don't help me in any direct way, there being there will be enough. Just even having the thought that you have a loved one or loved ones can make a difference in the day to day life. The rest is all up to you, and how you choose to live it, and make it through life. You have to decide weather you want to take life head on, and not worry what some may think, or let something from the past slow you down... To let someone decide your future could be detrimental if that ideal future was not of your own making. The future is still uncertain, and who knows how it will turn out. But I will am going to try my best to make it how I see fit!
.... Annnnd my Back reaaally hurts right now. haha
My work right now is extremely shitty, not to sound like a downer but it’s the truth. A new girl started today so I got booted to the back warehouse. Now I cannot even access msn, nor check my email until later this afternoon, when I install some programs to bypass all my works stupid firewall blocks...GRR
I can't wait to put in my letter of resignation. Or maybe I won't even do that, I don’t know how much longer I can stand coming to a job that gets me down. Looking at the clock and hoping that it will miraculously turn five is not something I am very fond of doing. At the moment, all it seems I can do right now is to write. Which seems to help quite a bit. It gives me sense of peace, and tares me away from the world that is my Job. I wouldn’t even mind working at a job that pays less if I enjoyed going to it. It makes such a difference if you want to go to work, and you want to be there. To hate your job means that you will never give 100% of yourself to it. This is bad for yourself and your employer.
As my work days draw to a close. I can't help but wonder what the evenings will bring. Will it be full of excitement or will I go on some sort of an adventure with friends. Or will I just end up staying home, listening to music to settle my nerves. Whatever the nights bring let us hope that they are all good ones, because no one likes an uneventful or unhappy Night.
The Sun was so Bright today, it must have been -1 outside. Seeing how I was able to walk around outside with only my T-shirt on, and no coat. It’s the best of both worlds when you can enjoy winter in all its glory. The Snow covered hill presents a smooth unscathed landscape that hides any flaws that Mother Nature may have endured during the summer months. As the sun shines up the snow it reflects with an intense yet beautiful force, which made me glad I had my trusty sunglasses today.
Sorry for such a long blogs lately. Ever since I have been carrying my little note pad around I seem to write much more frequently. Its not just the convenience, but that it also gives me the opportunity to write down feelings and thoughts in real time. Which I find to be quite a good fall back option when I’m not in the right place to talk to someone. I will now tell my note pad what I want to say at the time, or what I want to say for later. Its like a key to the bottle, so nothing ever gets shut in, and is always out in the open. Even though not everyone may happen to see it. All that matters is that I see it, and I know that it’s somewhere...
Well that was alot of differnt ideas. I was just couldn't keep my mind set on one thing today..
The daily grind seems to make people forget of all the things close and dear to them. Having something or someone day in and day out can start to feel normal, which in turn is a great feeling, and is one that should be able to last forever. To lose that safety net for a short time can be an excellent experience to realize what you hold dear and near to your heart. It could show you a new path that previously wouldn’t have been visible from your previous perspective on things.
Personally when I lose something that has such an impact on my life or has just become a customary thing, it’s like a chunk of my soul has been broken off and thrown away. For example, this weekend I lost my phone, which in my case is a huge deal. Not only because it’s worth over 500 dollars. But that I instantly lost that connection with so many people that are near to my heart. Now I know that there our always phones around me to keep in touch. Only there is nothing like chatting with a friend all day, even while I’m at work, haha. That sounds bad, but it makes the day that much better. I have a new phone on the way, so that chunk in my soul will be once again restored. And I will always remember how much I really do enjoy chatting with friends.
Rundown on the Rundown
What a weekend this was though. I was up for 36 hours straight… It all started at five in the morning, because apparently I had to be at work early for some reason….. Still trying to figure that one out considering it was such a slack day. After work I made my way over the ski hill where we spent a good 3 hours getting the Sno Cat off the hill where it had broken down. Then we spent another 3 hours just fixing the problem. And if you would like to know the problem, it wouldn’t start and we blew up a 10,000psi hydraulic line. Yeah don’t ask, haha. After it was all fixed and ready to go, I gave Lukey a call, and he came up to give me hand with grooming the hill. This lasted till 9am. Now the sad part of the night was on the last pass down on the hill, I had to get out of the Sno Cat, but in doing so I pushed my poor phone out of the cab. Which had been sitting between my legs so I could catch everyone’s Texts. Then I proceeded to drive over my phone with the Cat/Groomer. So I think it’s pretty highly unlikely that I will ever see that poor poor phone ever again. Later that morning I went home, grabbed a bite to eat and returned to the hill to get in some good riding time on my freshly groomed ski hill. Which was excellently groomed
After my day of riding I finally had a chance to catch some shut eye, but not for too long because at 11 is when the infamous Redhead was coming over to begin the “Broke Back Mountain Adventure”. The night was spent playing one of the finniest drinking games ever, drink Vodka Shots and Caesars, Staying warm in my mountain of magical Blankets. And being super amazingly lazy on Sunday. Which was full of some antics from Dane cook which I had on my computer and some plain old talking.
48 Hour Weekend with 8 hours of sleep. And I am not tired at all, seeing how I am probably sooo over tired I can't comprehand how tired I really am.
I will write some more later this week when its not soo late. But for now a quick run down:
- Stayed up 30 hours working at the Ski Hill
- Lost my Palm Treo
- Went Snowboarding all day Saturday - Play a Drinking Game with the RedHead, which involved BBM(I will explain later....maybe)
- And I was super Lazy Sunday!
Well there is the quick rundown, lame Blog I know. But I feel my bed calling me from across my room, so I think I will reside to sleeping at a decent time tonight.
It was only -15 out today, which seems cold. But its a big step from the -40 that it was only a day ago. On the brighter side, I am climatized and am able to work in the cold with ease. But come Summer, theres gonna be whinning that its too damn hot, haha. ohhwell thats how it is in good old Dawson Creek.
I was playing mind tricks with a fellow employee today, it was quite funny. He is a person that feels that if there is no eye contact, there is no hearing or recieving. So everytime he came up and felt like giving me some sort of instruction, I would just look past his should. Funny thing is that he kept on trying to move into the view of my eyes, haha. It was like dancing, just without the touchy part. It was quite amusing seeing this unfold before my very eyes.
Watching people is a little thing I do to pass the time. You can learn so much about a person just by the way they hold them selfs, and portray them selfs to others. Usually I will have some kind of critisism, only cause It makes me laugh. I got nothing against anyone, it just amuses me for a small amount of time. Plus it always makes the people around me have a lil giggle. Though I don't want to get labled as the guy that makes fun of everyone, that wouldn't be best things to ever happen. LOL
I had a Night Full of work and Gaming, so the thought process is a little lacking tonight. Tomorrow or the day after I will right something really deep
Ferramentas 
....maybe)
