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Well after a long, long time of nothing. I have decided to write something, not just because I am bored sitting in a Super 8 motel in the northern city of Fort Nelson. Though that’s a big reason, but I also started reading old chat logs from about this time last year. And they reminded me on how much I enjoyed writing these short little blogs that only really meant anything to me. Haha.
Now I am in quite a different state of mind altogether then I was a year ago. One year ago, give or take a little bit I was stuck in a rut that was so deep I didn’t know if I would ever get out of it. I kind of drank way to much, even though I never spent barely anything, due to a over zealous and ridiculously rich friend. And I didn’t care about my job at all, and in the end didn’t stick around that long.
I am proud to say that time in my life is over and a long ways behind me, due to the fact that I met an amazing girl that turned my life around for the better. Her attitude on life drew me in like no other could ever do. And I am still there being taken in be all that she is :D

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January 31

A Thought,

A word, a thought, a feeling. These three things if used appropriately, and at the right time can start a conversation that can last a lifetime. This is a statement that is quite often put aside, and forgotten. And not because no one cares about it, but just that it really is just forgotten...

How can one word start a conversation? Well some would say that this is easy, but would that conversation be worthwhile, or just a way to waste time waiting for something else to come along. The one word that I am thinking of would all depend on the thought that came before the word in question. And if the feelings behind that word in question were truly meant at all.

Now.. A question arises from this little rambling of mine. Can a word spoken from a person have meaning it there wasn't any feelings or thought put behind it to begin with? Its all kind of confusing, and seems trivial, but it crossed my mind as I laid on my bed falling in and out of concrescence listening to music this evening. its kind of useless to think about it cause you can never truly know forsure. But you can be rest assured that if someone puts up the effort to speak, it must mean something...

As for the Word... Thats totally up to you

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January 09

Short & Super Late

Haven't written for such a long time, thought it would be appropriate that I put something down.

Christams was great, New years was even better. Lots of food, Drinks, and Friends and Family. It was almost a good time to lose my job, even though it was during the holiday season, and I couldn't do for everyone what I really wanted to. But it gave me time to Reflect.. Find new meaning and just be around people that I care about.

Thats all I have for now

This week I am going to actrually sit down And write something cause theres lots ideas I wanna write about.

Quote of the day:

However far you go pass me in science, I will always pass you on the road ____*Insert Name*

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December 11

Just Lost...

Well... I lost my Phone, Lost my Job, and now I have lost all perspective on my goals in life. I am just kind of lost in my own undoing. I was told that I didn't give enough heart into what I was doing. Well then, give me something that I love, and I will give everything I have. Give me something I don't thoroughly enjoy and will give a lackluster attempt. Is it even possible to give 100 percent to everything you do? Maybe for some, but if the love for something isn’t' there, neither is the heart. These would be considered the same in most cases, but in my situation they are in different rooms. With conjoining doors, that can only be opened with the right set of keys. These keys seem to have been missing for quite a while...

I think today will be set aside for re-examining what I want to do in life. Trying to figure out where I want to be in 6 months, or 1 year, or even 5-10 years from now. What Do I want to be? That’s got to be the hardest question to answer. I thought I had it figured, but I am not sure if I want something that can look really good on a resume or something that can look really good to me. Do I want to waste 4 years, Or will it be in my best interest to go through with it. I don't want to come out of school, and not wanting to continue on with a job that I just trained for. I have already done that once, that that was enough for me. I am starting to become interested in other ideas, but time is dwindling down and I have to make a decision soon.

Let the rest of the today bring something good, and maybe some Dumplings

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December 07

My Plea!

Does everyone out there have that special person? I sure hope so... But if they don't I sure hope they know who they want it to be. I send out a plea to everyone out there to not hold back on what your feeling. You only have one chance at life to get things right, or attempt to make them right. After that one chance it could be a long time before another one arrives, and regrets are not a thing worth living though. Even if that person may not feel the same way, their is no way of knowing if you don't take the risk and put yourself out there. If anything, your gesture could put a smile that someone’s face knowing that someone feels that way about them. It could hurt at first if the feelings are not mutual, but at least you would know the truth, Which will end up easing the pain in the end.

1. At least 2 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
8. You are special and unique.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.
13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

There’s a couple in there I hope are true to there fullest potential. And there are some I know are very true. But That’s all for now..

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December 06

Wednesdays...

Wednesdays... there better then Tuesdays, but not as good as Thursdays. And there way better then Mondays. Its too bad that every day couldn't be the best day. Maybe sometime in the future everything will eventually fall into place, in such a perfect way that every day could be the best day. Even if something awful were to happen, or there was a bad day, it wouldn't even matter. To get to this day will take some time, and some careful steps, and a bit of Luck to assure it happens. And most importantly, it will need someone, or maybe a few to help me get there. Even if they don't help me in any direct way, there being there will be enough. Just even having the thought that you have a loved one or loved ones can make a difference in the day to day life. The rest is all up to you, and how you choose to live it, and make it through life. You have to decide weather you want to take life head on, and not worry what some may think, or let something from the past slow you down... To let someone decide your future could be detrimental if that ideal future was not of your own making. The future is still uncertain, and who knows how it will turn out. But I will am going to try my best to make it how I see fit!

.... Annnnd my Back reaaally hurts right now. haha

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December 05

ugh.. Work

My work right now is extremely shitty, not to sound like a downer but it’s the truth. A new girl started today so I got booted to the back warehouse. Now I cannot even access msn, nor check my email until later this afternoon, when I install some programs to bypass all my works stupid firewall blocks...GRR

I can't wait to put in my letter of resignation. Or maybe I won't even do that, I don’t know how much longer I can stand coming to a job that gets me down. Looking at the clock and hoping that it will miraculously turn five is not something I am very fond of doing.
At the moment, all it seems I can do right now is to write. Which seems to help quite a bit. It gives me sense of peace, and tares me away from the world that is my Job. I wouldn’t even mind working at a job that pays less if I enjoyed going to it. It makes such a difference if you want to go to work, and you want to be there. To hate your job means that you will never give 100% of yourself to it. This is bad for yourself and your employer.

As my work days draw to a close. I can't help but wonder what the evenings will bring. Will it be full of excitement or will I go on some sort of an adventure with friends. Or will I just end up staying home, listening to music to settle my nerves. Whatever the nights bring let us hope that they are all good ones, because no one likes an uneventful or unhappy Night.

The Sun was so Bright today, it must have been -1 outside. Seeing how I was able to walk around outside with only my T-shirt on, and no coat. It’s the best of both worlds when you can enjoy winter in all its glory. The Snow covered hill presents a smooth unscathed landscape that hides any flaws that Mother Nature may have endured during the summer months. As the sun shines up the snow it reflects with an intense yet beautiful force, which made me glad I had my trusty sunglasses today.

Sorry for such a long blogs lately. Ever since I have been carrying my little note pad around I seem to write much more frequently. Its not just the convenience, but that it also gives me the opportunity to write down feelings and thoughts in real time. Which I find to be quite a good fall back option when I’m not in the right place to talk to someone. I will now tell my note pad what I want to say at the time, or what I want to say for later. Its like a key to the bottle, so nothing ever gets shut in, and is always out in the open. Even though not everyone may happen to see it. All that matters is that I see it, and I know that it’s somewhere...

Well that was alot of differnt ideas. I was just couldn't keep my mind set on one thing today..